“I think it’s very important to accept that this is not a linear process.”

When women or couples come to me seeking better sex, the first concept on which I advise them is of the unpredictable, ever-changing nature of the Feminine—and therefore of women’s arousal, desire, and orgasm. It is never the same twice, and there is no effective technique. That’s because women don’t progress from zero to “OH MY GOD!” in a straight, predictable manner. We’re not supposed to! Women’s experience of pleasure is all over the map—and sometimes entirely off the map—veering and pivoting wildly up and down.

In that way, great sex is similar to art.

Artist Christoph Niemann, famed for his New Yorker sketches among other publications, articulated the absurdity and magic of the unpredictable creative process better than any explanation I have ever heard. Apply everything he says to women’s bodies, and you will gain a valuable first lesson in the nonlinear progression of pleasure and dynamic connection.

At minute 3:00 he says: “I sometimes get from clients, ‘Oh, can we just see sketches? We just want to follow your process.’ This implies you start at zero and let’s say an idea is 100. This implies that halfway thru you would be at 50. In reality, you from zero to minus 250 and then you go 17,000 and then you go to R, and then you end up at 100. If you would share that with people they would be utterly confused. I think it’s very important to accept that this is not a linear process.”

Image Credit Christoph Niemann


Bez Stone

Bez Stone

CEO and Coach at www.bezstone.com