Bonus Upgraded Sex Ed
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The Backwards Way We’ve Been Having Sex (and a More Enjoyable Option)
One of the most common mistakes people make in sex is doing what they think their partner wants—not what they themselves want. This sets up an unsatisfying experience for both parties. When we touch our partners for OUR pleasure, we both get what we want—a turned on, engaged, real experience.
How to Ask for What You Want
One of the the fears that many of us have when faced with touching our partner for OUR pleasure is: What if he doesn’t like what I’m doing? What if I accidentally hurt her? What if what feels good for me doesn’t feel good for him? What if she gets offended?
First off, I want to reassure you from in-depth personal experience on both sides of the equation that this won’t come up nearly as often as you imagine it will. We are, in fact, ravenous sexual creatures who love to be enjoyed—when we feel safe with each other.
When all the pressure is lifted off of us and there are no goals or expectations, we naturally feel more turned on and exploratory.
While we all need attentive, consensual touch, we can also take more sexual intensity than we often give each other credit for. In fact, we might be dying for more, having stuffed down our hunger for our entire lives.