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After 7 years of coaching thousands of women and couples, I’m on sabbatical and writing a book! When I asked myself: “What’s the most enjoyable and powerful way to spread my message about women’s sexual fulfillment?” Art was the unequivocal answer. My favorite type of art is stories, particularly suspense fiction. I am merging my passion for suspense with my extensive knowledge on women’s sexuality. Please stay tuned for more info on my forthcoming novel in development.
When a woman comes to me having lost her libido, I say, "GOOD!"
I say, “Good,” because it means she’s normal. I means she has higher standards than the status quo, which isn’t satisfying for many women. It means her body won’t tolerate obligatory, pressure-filled sex anymore.
It’s like her libido is saying, “ENOUGH OF THIS SH&%!”
Women love sex... when it's the kind worth having.
The sex we learned in 7th grade sex-ed and see in movies isn’t satisfying for many women. Why? Because typical, predictable sex—with its pressure to perform and conform—isn’t optimally satisfying for women (or anyone, for that matter). Therefore, women lose interest in it.
The common belief is: “Women don’t like sex as much as men do.” This is categorically FALSE!
Most women aren’t banging down doors to have “typical sex” because its not worth having. Why would anyone want put time and energy into something unsatisfying, anxiety-producing, or boring?
Typical sex produces predictable results:
- Women feel more turned off and ambivalent about sex.
- Sex feels loaded with expectations.
- Women feel pressured by their partner’s requests.
- Given our busy lives, sex often isn’t worth the hassle.
My philosophy introduce the kind of sex women enjoy and want more of—because it includes women’s fulfillment.
It’s not that women don’t like sex; it’s that typical sex doesn’t thrill many women.
What 7th grade sex ed never taught us.
Most of us learned the “round the bases” approach to sex: first you kiss, then you touch her breasts, then you rub genitals, and then—finally—you have intercourse and orgasm. Home plate is the destination, and every move is geared towards arrival.
The problem is this type of sex is BO-RING especially over time.
That’s because predictable, cookie-cutter sex doesn’t offer women anything to cheer about. It’s not the breath-taking adventure many of us crave. Too often, it’s instead a dumbed-down theatrical performance where we’re left thinking, “Is that really all there is?”
“Round-the-bases” sex doesn’t optimally unleash women’s pleasure.
7th grade sex ed never taught us how to have sex that excites and meets women’s needs.
Sexual problems feel heart breaking.
Years ago, my sex life degraded to a perfunctory monthly encounter that was more like a pressure release than an act of love or pleasure. We stopped kissing. There was no passion or exploration, just the necessary friction to get us both to orgasm. I felt miserable, lonely, turned off, and hopeless about how to fix it.
Men report the same. One client told me, “When sex was at its worst, my wife would bend over once a week in the shower and I would basically masturbate inside of her until I climaxed. It was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever experienced.”
When sex is a problem, couples aren’t having too little sex—they’re having unfulfilling sex. That’s why the advice “just have more sex” doesn’t always help. It often worsens an already tense situation and deepens the power struggle.
Couples struggling in bed don’t just need “more sex.” They need more connection, play, and enjoyment.
My methods turn existing sex advice on its head and offer something new that works.
Sex-as-we-know-it gets it wrong for men, too
In addition to ignoring women’s basic mechanism for sexual fulfillment, typical sex also gets it wrong for men.
Most men want to blow their partner’s mind. They want to give her a unique experience. They want to make her happy.
But using the typical framework for sex, women’s minds aren’t often blown. Many women regularly fake pleasure, “make the best of it,” or wonder when it’s going to be over.
When stuck in the model of sex-as-we-know-it, unhappy women often tolerate lackluster sex that’s barely worth their time. Over time, resentment and obligation replace desire and arousal. The magic of sex dies.
It's never too late to get your sex life back
But that magic is ALWAYS available to us, no matter how far we’ve strayed into the fog of relationship problems. I’ve worked with thousands of men, women, and couples to revive sexual expression and intimacy.
I know for sure: it’s never too late.
I’ve worked with couples who are:
- Both full time executives
- Having or have had affairs
- Raising 4+ kids under age 10
- Recovering from abuse or trauma
- On the verge of divorce
It’s never too late to renew sexual connection.
All it takes is a willingness to take the leap and try something new.
Help for your sex life
I help women and couples break free from the power struggle of “he wants more sex than she does.”
Currently, I’m not taking any coaching clients while I focus my efforts on writing.