Your Element is Feeling Safe!

Your strength

You are strong and intense in your own way. You have a remarkable ability to let people all the way into your heart once they make it through your outer walls. You have the capacity and desire to fully let go. 

Your trap/weakness

When you feel threatened, the walls around your sensitive insides get thicker. This is a natural reaction to a threat. The problem is, you often feel threatened when there is no real danger. You have a hard time relaxing once you get “spooked,” especially in sex, and end up feeling scared and alone rather than talking about your needs with your partner. Because you’re so sensitive, you don’t often understand what you get agitated during sex as there’s often no obvious reason. This makes you worry there’s something wrong with you. 

The key for you

No one has a big wall unless they’re protecting something valuable. Honor your need for safety with your partner. Don’t try to have sex when the wall is up. Instead, learn to purposefully lower it.
Your walls go up in sex when you feel expectations from yourself or your partner. The key for you is to remove all the pressure from sex. This helps make sex feel safe for you to engage in.
PS: Feeling pressured is sex less often comes from your partner’s expectations and more often stems from the expectations you put on yourself.

Follow the path

Start by downloading the Turned On Woman’s Manifesto. It will help you feel safe enough to fully let go and feel pleasure.

What about the other Elements? You’ll learn them all down the path in the 6 Elements course. 

Download the Manifesto

Women who download the manifesto say they read it three times in a row, then get the chills, and then print it out so they can sign it. It’s that powerful.

Download it here for free, then please tell me your reaction.

Take the 6 Elements Course

The concepts in the 6 Elements of Sex You Love Course are must-knows for your confidence, fulfillment, & sanity. Don’t have sex without them!

  • 10-minute modules
  • Written and video materials
  • Start with your Element

Get the App

If you want to learn to swim, you’ve got to get in the pool. Download these 10 laughably simple, no-pressure ways to talk about & explore better sex with your partner. I call them “Quickies.”

Test the beta version here


Inspire other women

Women help women have better sex. Text the quiz to a girlfriend who wants better sex.

Cut & paste:


Who am I?

Who am I?

Hi, I’m Bez Stone. I help make sex appealing to women so couples stay together. I’m a Stanford-educated writer and sex coach who’s helped thousands of women just like you feel more confident, sexy, and alive. I live in Santa Cruz, CA with my family.