Your Element is Sex for YOUR Pleasure!

Your strength

You are very empathic and care deeply about people. You are strong and like to help others in both emotional and practical ways.

Your trap/weakness

You often have sex to make your partner happy, rather than to make yourself happy. This leads to sex feeling like an obligation, rather than something enjoyable. When you do have sex, you may feel separate from your own sexual experiences. You engage in them, but you aren’t really there.

The key for you

Forget about your partner for once. Learn to have sex for your own pleasure and for the joy it brings you, rather than for the pleasure it brings him or her. In your case, healthy selfishness is good and will actually make sex more mutually fulfilling. Why? Because when you’re turned on and excited to touch your partner, you both enjoy it. When you’re touching your partner out of obligation, half-resenting it and half-wondering when it will be over so you can just read your book and relax, neither of you has any fun.
PS: The kind of sex I teach is just as relaxing and exciting as a great book.

Follow the path

Start by downloading the Turned On Woman’s Manifesto. It will help you commit to feeling more pleasure for YOURSELF.

What about the other Elements? You’ll learn them all down the path in the 6 Elements course. 

Download the Manifesto

Women who download the manifesto say they read it three times in a row, then get the chills, and then print it out so they can sign it. It’s that powerful.

Download it here for free, then please tell me your reaction.

Take the 6 Elements Course

The concepts in the 6 Elements of Sex You Love Course are must-knows for your confidence, fulfillment, & sanity. Don’t have sex without them!

  • 10-minute modules
  • Written and video materials
  • Start with your Element

Get the App

If you want to learn to swim, you’ve got to get in the pool. Download these 10 laughably simple, no-pressure ways to talk about & explore better sex with your partner. I call them “Quickies.”

Test the beta version here


Inspire other women

Women help women have better sex. Text the quiz to a girlfriend who wants better sex.

Cut & paste:


Who am I?

Who am I?

Hi, I’m Bez Stone. I help make sex appealing to women so couples stay together. I’m a Stanford-educated writer and sex coach who’s helped thousands of women just like you feel more confident, sexy, and alive. I live in Santa Cruz, CA with my family.