I have been struggling for months about what to call the kind of sex I teach. “Great sex?” Too generic. “Radically fulfilling sex?” Sort of long. “Conscious sex?” Bo-ring! “Modern Sex?” Maybe… but what does that even mean??
I had settled on “Sex That Works for Women.” I knew in the back of my mind that “works for women” wasn’t quite as thrilling as the sex I teach actually FEELS. Still, it was the closest I could come on my own.
Fast forward to hanging out with my test-couple clients last night. They are my brave husband and wife duo on the front lines of testing my new couples training. I spent several hours getting their feedback and hearing from them about their experience of the research projects and content I have created, so I could adjust my program and make it even more relatable, effective, and enjoyable.
Near the end, I decided to ask them about a name for the training. (Right now I’m calling it simply Level 1.) And then I asked them, “What kind of sex is it teaching you to have?” I told them my ideas—radical sex, conscious sex, etc. And then the man in the couple just lit up like a Christmas tree and said, “Sex that women love,” with such tenacity that I was floored.
My whole body reverberated. For one, he was so enthused about the prospect of learning how to have sex that women loved that his joy was contagious and I immediately wanted to do anything to give him what he wanted.
But more importantly, he had touched the raw nerve of what I teach in a way that I hadn’t been able to do on my own. It was as if I was lurking around the edges of the room looking for a seat, and he went right to the middle of the room and gave me the center chair.
In that moment, I felt so grateful for the Masculine (in all the forms it takes) for its ability to shamelessly and directly address the truth in no uncertain terms and go straight to the quivering heart of the matter. I felt almost embarrassed by the sheer force of sexual pleasure that HE was showing ME was possible through what I was teaching them! I was thrilled.
I am now marveling at how I’d been willing to settle for “it works for women”—like, “OK, well that ‘worked.’ It wasn’t awful…”
“Sex that women love” matches just how bold I am and the provocative, unequivocal nature of the work that I do. It matches how strongly I feel about what I’m here to teach the world.
I feel deeply appreciative to this man and to all men for your ability and willingness to go straight to it. I understand now more than ever how we are truly collaborating towards all of our collective fulfillment together, and how truly we all need each other in order to get there.
Unleashing the mechanics of women's desire, arousal, and satsifaction