“All you have to do is watch nearly any depiction of female orgasm on screen to get an idea of how a woman is “supposed” to react during sex.
I spent 2+ years undoing my conditioning around “making noise” during sex. The sex I used to have sounded off the charts—but it didn’t fell all that great for me. It took those 2+ years to learn how to truly FEEL my own body and pleasure during sex—rather than simply LOOK and SOUND like I was feeling pleasure.
If you have sex with women, one of the greatest gifts you can giver her is to NOT use her noises as evidence that you are doing it right or wrong. As this study shows, more than half the time her moans don’t mean what you think they mean. Give her the gift of being able to lie completely still, of being able to just feel her own body and her own pleasure without performing or needing to reassure you.
“Many of the women did make noise but not necessarily while they were having an orgasm. Instead, 66% said that they moaned to speed up their partner’s climax, and 87% stated that they vocalized during sex to boost his self-esteem.”
WOMEN: Do you relate to this? If you stop to think about how you use noise in sex… what do you notice?
MEN/LOVERS OF WOMEN: How does it feel to read that women’s moans usually don’t mean what you think they mean? What sorts of thoughts or questions come up for you about it?
Advocate for women's sexual fulfillment